End of the Year Reflection

Just days away from ringing in the New Year, I want to just take the time to sit back and reflect on 2013.

In the beginning of the year, there was drama. I admit that it was my fault and I hold myself accountable for what transpired. I realize that I the major reason why it began in the first place was because I didn’t like what I was seeing happening between this guy and my friend (who I call a sister). Regardless, of what I thought was going on I shouldn’t have reacted so poorly, despite the fact that I didn’t like this guy (we have a history prior to them ever meeting each other). With that being said, I was wrong and it should have never happened.

The new year saw three deaths in the family (my great grandmother died December 1st of 2012, proceeded by my great uncle in January and then my grandmother’s husband in February). I wasn’t close to neither one of the three, but they had one person that connected us, my maternal grandmother. My grandma (pronounced as gran-ma, with my West Indian accent) and I were close when I was growing up, but like a lot of grandchildren, we get busy and don’t call or come by as often. Yeah, I was one of those. But I knew that I needed to be there for her, support her just by being there. So, I began calling more and stopping by more often just to see how she was doing.

I know death happens everyday. It’s part of the circle of life. There’s a beginning and there is an end. But to experience so much loss just within a month of each other? That taught me one valuable lesson: my grandma is one tough lady. To have the strength to keep going when it would have been so easy to just give up. I admire her for that. Which makes me love her so damn much.

The year saw my quest in obtaining a job. After going to job programs and interviews, I finally landed a job working with children. I tutor six graders at a middle school in Queens. It has been three months since I started working. It feels good to be a part of the workforce. I like to keep busy and staying home was driving me insane.

With the new job, there have been many challenges, such as the childrens inability to follow instructions. I have learned that these children will say and so pretty much anything that comes to mind. Which in a lot of ways I respect them for their honesty. They are committed to driving most of the after school program instructors up a wall, however, they are also committed to enjoying themselves as much as possible. They are a smart lot, who seem to have a genuine idea of what they want to be when they grow up. The problem is trying to get to that point. As the year turns, I want to wish my kids the best of luck and I hope that their dreams turn into reality. Because these wonderfully annoying beautiful creatures deserve to have some positive things in their lives.

In the middle of all of that, I went on a few adventures to Pennsylvania and my favorite state of Connecticut with my mother. We have gotten rather close given our tumultuous history. But all in all, I love this woman more than she will ever know. I don’t always agree with the things that she says or does, but I respect her for bestowing in me to be my own woman. To not take crap from anyone. I have learned to speak up for myself.

I think spending that time with her on those trips made me understand that we aren’t that different from each other, it’s just that we have different perspectives on some things.

I love my mother and that will never change.

2013 has had its ups and downs, I wonder what 2014 has in store for us?

~Until we meet again, see you next year!


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