Its Wednesday. Hump day. As I sit and write this, I can envision my students making random noises and screaming Hump Day at the top of their lungs. It makes me smile a little to find comfort in that act.
Its a far cry from yesterday when I got upset and yelled at my second group. Now before you say, why am I yelling at these kids, picture yourself for a moment. You are attempting to conduct a lesson and a couple of your students decide they want to gossip about who likes the other.
I don’t care for this kind of thing and have told them many times and I do many times about leaving the gossip outside my door.
When your trying to do what your paid to do and your students continuously go out of their way to be rude and disrespectful, calling home doesn’t work and talking to them isn’t work…what do you do at this point?
I have tutored these children for the past six months and some of their actions have gotten worse over time.
Despite the title of my post, I don’t think my children are bad kids. They just don’t listen. They are too invested on who is dating who, twerking and using bad language to care about the serious things, like trying to read a book. Its as if its too much effort for them to do anything that involves hard work. That’s what I find to be heartbreaking.
To be honest, it is for my feelings about my kids that I didn’t write an email to my boss, expressing desire to leave and not come back.
If I did that then I wouldn’t be any better than the teachers who left their kids without a care after telling them that they care about them. That’s a load of baloney.
However, when I say that my kids aren’t bad, that’s not to say that they don’t have their bad days. Everyone does.
I just find it rather frustrating to keep blaming a child’s home life on their behavior at school. How many times must an instructor give a student a pass because of the student comes from a bad home? Hmm, this is a current theme at my job.
All I hear is “they act that way because of the problems that they have at home.” Okay, but after coming to that realization on my own and having a conversation or two with staff, how many times are we going to keep using a bad home as an excuse to okay bad behavior?
I am frustrated because no matter how much you talk to them, it goes through one ear and out the other. (I’m wonder if I gave my mom this much trouble when I was a kid?) I am frustrated because it seems like no matter what you do, nothing seems to help.
But yes, with all of my frustrations I still have respect for my students and I care about all of them even if the feeling may not be mutual. I’m fine with that.
So how do I cope? I have a great support system that sympathize and empathize with me. In addition, to that I have been practicing some breathing exercises to keep me calm (breathing exercises may differ for everyone) and maintaining a positive attitude is what gets me through the week.
I know that I have a long journey ahead of me, but I am willing to keep going for these kids, because they need someone to believe in them.
~Until We Meet Again