Well as another week comes to a close, I find myself actually relieved. After last week’s running around trying to get all my documentation submitted so I could work at the Summer Camp, I have been feeling rather restless. I sleep but its never enough. And this week was spent with me trying to get the medical form signed by my doctor and rushing all the way to Queens to hand in the form. To say that I wasn’t a happy camper is putting it mildly at best.
I remember being asked if I was enjoying my time off and to which I replied ‘no’. I could have went on my usual rant about how it sucks because I miss my kids who probably forgotten all about me and not to mention the money that I needed to save up for is non-existent now. But it wasn’t really their concern about my personal struggles, all that really mattered that I got all the necessary papers in on time. Now, I sit and wait to be called back to work. At this point I kind of feel like it is pointless because we have about 3-4 weeks (at least) of summer camp and I m beginning to feel like this was a waste of my time. Nothing I had planned went right at all. I
From random background checks that inadvertently cost me time and money to being nominated for a job that I only was able to work 4 days in total before being told that I have to fill out a packet full of documents and get medical clearance and all of that crap. So yeah, I’m rather pissed that this process and I feel like packing it in to be honest. However, there is something that is keeping me from just giving up.
So far the only thing that has kept me relatively sane is my writing. I have been writing a fanfiction for a month at least and I can’t seem to finish it. I love the fact that I am writing again, but I find it harder than ever to come up with an idea and stick with it. Not to mention, I want to get published and become an established author, but how the heck am I supposed to do that?
Sure I could go to the online tutorials about what makes you a writer or how to get your works published, but is that really explaining things to me????
I feel overwhelmed and anxious on all levels. It is only now that I can find the time to sit down and put my thoughts to this post. I feel so much frustration and I can’t let it out. I don’t know what to do at this point, but try to focus on my writing and attempt to keep myself grounded. (Yeah, like that will ever happen.)