When I began this challenge I really had not idea that it would have lasted this long. Now, it has been three months and I am proud of myself. For the first time, in a long time I actually challenged myself to do something and stuck with it.
However, two nights ago I was faced with a decision to drink some at home. I had two bottles of soda sitting on my dinner table. (They were given to me by my mother from her recent trip to Barbados.) They sat there for weeks and I even told her in a phone conversation that I stopped drinking the sweet stuff for some time. Apparently, she had forgotten.
Now fast forward, I had come home feeling a bit dehydrated and saw one of the bottles on the table. I opened it and the sweet smell entered my nose. I held it up to my lips and drank a quarter of it. I soon found myself feeling rather guilty for breaking my challenge. Soon by day two the small bottle was gone. And I haven’t touched the stuff since.
A feeling of regret and disappointment came over me. I felt like I just threw in the towel. However, I noticed something interesting. I didn’t get any pleasure from it, nor did it make me feel any different. It was like a big bottle of ‘MEH.’ It was nothing special, or to be desired.
It didn’t make me want to drink more of it, it was rather a let down. I realized that I didn’t miss much and I relapsed for nothing. But was it really for nothing?
I wouldn’t necessarily say that. It taught me that I really didn’t need it before and I didn’t need it now. I was done with it!
What do you guys think? Relapse or nah?