Relationship Woes

If you ever been in a relationship you would come to understand that there are highs and lows. Oftentimes, these two things can be what makes or breaks a relationship.

My high point in my relationship with my boyfriend, Richard, was when we first got together. We were noobs. We both hadn’t been in a relationship in a few years (he five years and me four years).  Richard confessed to me that he had had feelings for me for some time. That he had lied when he said that he had feeling for a friend of mine. I didn’t take this bit of news well. I thought he was lying. I was still in a state of shock because I hadn’t seen the signs that were there.

Fast forward 12+ years later, Richard and I are still together.

Love is a two-way street:

Even though this is a title to a song, there is so much truth in this phrase. In relationships, you often hear that it is the guy who is making all the mistakes and the woman is the one who is suffering. However, I am here to tell you that isn’t always the case. I am proof of that.

Since we have been together, Richard has been the one to really go above and beyond in the relationship. He makes sure that I have a meal when I come over, that I am taking medicine when I am sick. He is there when I bitch and moan about the goings on at work. (Like really, I do complain about work often.) I, on the other hand, have been greedy and a tad bit selfish. I sometimes tune out when he talks, I forget or don’t take in account what he likes for his birthday/Christmas. I can never seem to come up with an idea for what I want to do together.

But I will tell you this, as bad as I am…I do love the hell out of him. Not for what he can give me. I am not a materialistic woman. I love him because he hasn’t given up on me. And trust me there were plenty of times when he should have.

For me, I haven’t gotten used to the idea that he loves me. The trust that we are supposed to have in each other is one-sided. I can’t accept us.  I don’t why I feel this way, but something about us being together scares the crap out of me! Yikes!…

The problems that occur in our relationship or any relationship is the break down of communication. If both parties aren’t talking to each other and letting the other know what is going on, then yeah. The relationship sours. You both have to put in your fair share to make it work.

Crossroads:

Now, we’re at this point in the road where we don’t know where to go.  I know where I want to be with Richard and I’m pretty sure I know where he wants to be. But how do we get there?

It seems like every time we have a talk about us, more feelings get revealed and it is mind blowing. Our path, our road that we want to travel is bumpy because I am unsure if we can work. Or work the way he wants it to work. (if that makes any sense at all.)

It is just a lot of things that need to be sorted out. I don’t care as long as it takes, but I need to figure out what it is that I want and make it happen.

 

Have you been in a relationship and don’t know where it is going? All comments and advice are much appreciated.

~S~

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